A Softer Way of Seeing
I think one of the things that robs us of so much joy is judgment.
Judgment of others.
Judgment of ourselves.
We are so quick to decide who someone is based on what we can see.
A face. A body. A voice. A few words. A certain way of carrying themselves. A moment we happened to witness.
We take what little we know and fill in the rest ourselves.
We create stories about people we have never taken the time to understand and then judge them for the story we created.
We don't know what someone has survived before becoming the person standing in front of us. We don't know what they had to endure before we ever met them. We don't know what they are carrying quietly, or how much strength it takes for them to simply keep going.
And still, we judge.
We do the same thing to ourselves.
We look at our flaws and mistakes and treat them like evidence against our own worth. We demand so much from ourselves in a world that already asks so much of us. We forget that we are human. We forget that life is hard. We forget that most of the time, we are all just trying to do the best we can with what we have.
We are our own worst critics.
And when we judge others, we only contribute to the same impossible standard we hold ourselves to. We create a world where everyone is expected to be perfect, while quietly knowing that none of us are.
Maybe we should pause before we decide we know someone.
Maybe we should remember that the person in front of us is more than what we can see.
More than their appearance.
More than their worst day.
More than their mistakes.
More than the assumptions we make about them.
Compassion is one of the few things we can give away and still have more of, so allow this harsh world to make your heart softer, not harder. The world gives us plenty of reasons to become guarded, but kindness reminds us to stay open. Let the things you have endured teach you empathy, and allow your pain to make room for understanding, because you never know what someone is carrying.
You do not have to understand someone completely to treat them gently. And you do not have to be perfect to deserve that same gentleness from yourself.
Where in your life could you offer yourself or others a little more grace?
